My biggest influence …

Day 496.

Happy Mother’s Day to those with ‘mother’ on their list of important life accomplishments.


I lost my mother a couple of years ago to that modern black plague,  dementia. As the layers of grief peel back, and the difficulties we faced during her declining health fade, I can once again just purely remember my love for her.

My father told me recently ‘”You know, your mother had couth”. And that she did. She had class, looks, charm and a stylish manner. She had a sweetness and light about her. A great advocate of ‘mind over matter’. A piercing intelligence, curiosity – and a love of research, mathematics (she never used a calculator), trivia and crafts. A deep love for family, and for creating family traditions.

Such a smarty! She was a straight A student throughout her education. Every single year, every single class, up to and through college. She had such good taste and dressed us so smartly when we were growing up; and always created a beautiful, cozy home. She had not one, but two green thumbs.  

How she loved all creatures great and small – and I do mean ALL. We were raised to love and respect everything from spiders to elephants. She was a huge advocate of spay & neuter long before it was mainstream and accepted as a way to address the pet overpopulation. Boy, did she know her way around garage sales and thrift shops. She loved the older films and stars; a big moment for me was taking her to ‘An Evening with Cary Grant’ — and we sat pretty close to the stage! 

My cousin recently told me she always considered my mother to be ‘a mysterious pretty lady’. It was then I realized my mother was actually quite shy.  It seems only a few were allowed in and privileged to get to know the real her. Mom would be horrified if she knew I had posted a picture AND written about her in a public forum. 

I count myself lucky that I was one of four people who got to call her Mother. Happy Mother’s Day, Mom. Thank you for giving me life – and for everything.

6 thoughts on “My biggest influence …

  1. Incredibly beautiful…what a hommage to your mother! You are a very lovely person to have ‘honed in’ on all of these ‘subtle’ gifts from her! Your writing, musical acumen and observations continue to stimulate and keep one on the (sober) path. Tip of the hat and curtsy….

    Liked by 1 person

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