This article in Brain Pickings articulated some of the glimmers of feelings I’ve been having lately. Isn’t it fascinating how things pop up in your life at the right time?
What I’m learning in this not-newly-minted-but-still-pretty-new sobriety is the feeling of welcoming myself home to me. Meeting, accepting and loving the real me. No more getting blotto and running away from the responsibility that comes with being in touch and responsible for my feelings and my own self.
Derek Walcott’s poem say it ALL. After sobriety begins to settle more comfortably on your shoulders, what comes next seems to be a process of learning to be quite comfortable in your own skin. Learning to welcome yourself back to you. It’s beautiful!
Love after Love
The time will come
when, with elation,
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror,
and each will smile at the other’s welcome,
and say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you
all your life, whom you ignored
for another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,
the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life.
—- Derek Walcott