I love to see the days of my sobriety growing. Flipping over into Year 2 has been a huge thrill. For some reason, the upcoming nice round number of #Day500 is spine tingling.
Yes I love all that.
And there are so many benefits to being sober.
Yes there are.
But sometimes, just sometimes, I feel like a beast of burden, with a monkey on my back.
My life for the last year has been a fairly solo existence, and that has made it so much easier not to drink. But I am moving soon, and will have the space to entertain, will be near all my friends and have access to all sorts of social events.
This little devil in a blue dress beckons – my Wine Witch. She is a totally rock ‘n’ roll lady by the way. She whispers in my ear about times ahead. Opportunities to “get back to drinking”. Telling me I’ve “done my bit”; that when I get settled into my new life I can once again have my glass(es) of wine. Summer breezes, sitting out on the patio with friends – with wine. Going to a concert – with wine. Having people over for dinner – with wine.
A challenge, with hazard lights blinking, lies ahead.