That’s what she said …

Day 446.

Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so?
There’s a support group for that.
It’s called everybody, and they meet at the bar.

~Drew Carey

I adore quotes. Inspirational ones generally;  but the other day I was thinking about quotes relating to alcohol. I pulled some together to share with you: funny, sobering – and inspirational.

The funny ….

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
~Henny Youngman

I’m not an alcoholic, I only drink two times a year. On my birthday and when it’s not my birthday.
~Author unknown

I believe that when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade — and then try to find someone whose life is giving them vodka, and have a party.
~Ron White

I’m an occasional drinker, the kind of guy who goes out for a beer and wakes up in Singapore with a full beard.
~Raymond Chandler

I drink to make other people more interesting.
~Ernest Hemingway

I like to have a martini,  Two at the very most.  After three I’m under the table, after four I’m under my host.
~Dorothy Parker

I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day.
~Frank Sinatra (also attributed to actor Jack Lemmon)

I’ll stick with gin. Champagne is just ginger ale that knows somebody.
~Hawkeye of M*A*S*H,

Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
~Oscar Wilde

I envy people who drink – at least they know what to blame everything on.
~Oscar Levant

I like to keep a bottle of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.
~W.C. Fields

The sobering … 

The first glass is a sedative, the second a psychologist, the third glass an excuse, and the fourth a lobotomy.
~Terri Guillemets

First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.
~F. Scott Fitzgerald

How come if alcohol kills millions of brain cells, it never killed the ones that made me want to drink?
~Author Unknown

Health – what my friends are always drinking to before they fall down.
~Phyllis Diller

Our government land costs one dollar and twenty-five cents an acre, and good whiskey two dollars a bottle. How many men die landless who during their lives have swallowed whole townships — trees and all?
~Author unknown, c.1878 (me: alcohol has been a addiction issue for a long time)

Memory impairment: the free prize at the bottom of every vodka bottle.
~Big Bang Theory

The first thing in the human personality that dissolves in alcohol is dignity.
~Author Unknown

If drinking is interfering with your work, you’re probably a heavy drinker. If work is interfering with your drinking, you’re probably an alcoholic.
~Author Unknown

If you know someone who tries to drown their sorrows, you might tell them sorrows know how to swim.
~H. Jackson Brown, Jr

Almost anything can be preserved in alcohol, except health, happiness, and money.
~Mary Wilson Little, 1897

Your body is a temple, but keep the spirits on the outside.
~Author unknown

Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with, that it’s compounding a felony.
~Robert Benchley

Wine hath drowned more men than the sea.
~Thomas Fuller

Alcoholism is a well documented pathological reaction to unresolved grief.
~David Cook

It is the wine that leads me on, the wild wine that sets the wisest man to sing at the top of his lungs, laugh like a fool  – it drives the man to dancing… it even tempts him to blurt out stories better never told.
~Homer, The Odyssey (8th century)

As an alcoholic, you will violate your standards quicker than you can lower them.
~Robin Williams

… and the inspirational   

My recovery must come first so that everything I love in life doesn’t have to come last.
~Unknown

The goal isn’t to be sober. The goal is to love yourself so much that you don’t need to drink.
~Unknown

I want to be remembered for my recovery, not my addiction
~John

Three empowering words: I Don’t Drink
~Unknown

I think recovery from anything is honestly the most badass thing a person can do
~Unknown

I am not defined by my relapses, but by my decision to remain in recovery despite them.
~Unknown

The day I became free of alcohol was the day that I fully understood and embraced the truth that I would not be giving anything up by not drinking.
~ Liz Hemingway, “I Need To Stop Drinking!”

18 thoughts on “That’s what she said …

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