Day 273.
Today I casually noticed I’m 9 months sober.
Casually. noticed.
If you are early into this sobriety journey, perhaps you’ll feel reassured to know I used to compulsively check my sober app, often wishing the days on the counter would tick over faster.
I particularily remember my first week in January when I counted the hours. I’d go to bed, wake up, and check my sober app. It was a thrill when I finally hit one week —or seven days sober.
I babysat my soberness. So protective of it. Proud of it, mostly, but sometimes felt regretful I had to babysit this soberness all the time. Careful not to let it outside without being wrapped up in cotton wool. I wondered if this was how it would be forever? And boy, isn’t forever a long long time.
But guess what! That goes away! I have noticed within the last month that I often don’t check my sober app for days! Which is a great feeling. It’s starting to be a bit like second nature to me.
I mean yeah, just last night I had an extremely stressful conversation with my father. Mr. Button Pusher, 🙄. I hung up the phone, and my friend commented that I could probably use a stiff drink about now. And I sure could of. It was a fleeting thought. I pictured an inviting icy G&T, and then I said ‘yeah, if I was still drinking, I sure would!”
And that was that!
So true. I rarely think about the time anymore…but almost every day some event comes us that I smile and think, thank god I am free of that concern.
I am able to pick my kids up in the evening, to see concerts, to make it to work on time, to live.
I am lucky.
Anne
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yes!❤️
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