It’s not what they did to me …

Day 189.

In these days of clearheadedness, I still – as I did when drinking wine – sit around thinking.

In the foggy wine-stained days of yore I was thinking, but it was on a loop. No beginning and no end. Why Is This Happening To Me? Why Are They Treating Me Like This? Why? Why? Why?  All I was doing was agonizing, hurting and looping back to more of the same. I thought they were the problem. Nothing fruitful ever came out of these drinking thinking sessions.

But it’s different now.

These days I sit around thinking — and resolving.

And with a big Aha! moment yesterday came the clarity that:

It’s not about what >>they<< are doing to me ….

It’s why do >>I<< allow them to do it to me?

Taking responsibility for me.

And making changes.

 

 

 

 

**This is a bit down a rabbit hole, but someone may find it of interest or relevance: On this clearheaded path of discovery, I’ve learned about being an Empath. An Empath is a an intuitive nurturer and a giver – with difficulties of setting boundaries.  Empaths are vulnerable to being taken advantage of – and go into overdrive by being ever more nurturing and giving in, the hopes of making a situation better. The most insightful Dr. Saad covers this topic in a short video here.)

 

Photo by Lily Banse on Unsplash

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