Numbing and stuffing

Day 105.

Numbing my feelings


That was wine .. and oh boy what a good job it did! Well, until it didn’t. Or I recognized it didn’t.

So now I’ve stripped away the comfort of numbing my feelings by drinking.  What’s left? Time to examine other aspects of how I deflect and stay well away from my feelings in my life.

What else am I using to diminish my sense of self-esteem?

What else am I using to not feel my feelings?

Stuffing my feelings


For many, food is not tied up with emotions nor with their family systems – the way they were brought up. To them, food often means nothing more than fuel. Nice to prepare, eat and move on. Nothing more, nothing less. What they weigh isn’t something they’ve ever thought about, discussed, or felt pressure about from others (such as a parent).

How I envy you.

For me eating is quite entangled with my self-esteem and the ups and downs of my life – and the ups and downs of the scale. What I really, really now want to get a handle on, finally, is the whys and hows of my eating. Awareness leading, hopefully, to this issue resolved once and for all – and I never have to think about my weight again.

Just ordered this book, and it now awaits me in my stack to read:

Screen Shot 2018-04-15 at 07.31.43Women Food and God is a #1 New York Times bestselling guide that explains the connection between eating and emotion from Geneen Roth.

A good review of this book by mindbodygreen — from a mindful perspective – includes two points that absolutely grabbed me:


  • “If you pay attention to when you are hungry, what your body wants, what you are eating, when you’ve had enough, you end the obsession because obsession and awareness cannot coexist.”
  • “Real change happens bit by bit. It takes great effort to become effortless at anything. There are no quick fixes.”

And another take on this topic:

Screen Shot 2018-04-15 at 08.09.29.pngI’m in the midst of reading Slim by Design, which takes a clear and easy-to-read look at ‘mindless’ eating solutions for everyday life. In this case mindless means you don’t have to think about them, it’s the choices you automatically make. Small tweaks that can help you stay slim.

It’s all based on research, and compares what slim people vs. weight-challenged people do in various circumstances. For example the all-you-can-eat buffets. Did you know slim people circle the buffet first, use a small plate, don’t put white salads on their plate – and then choose a seat facing away from the buffet on the other side of the room? The solutions they suggest to eating less are based on extensive research.

The scenarios and ideas for making slim choices is fascinating. I’m finding it very helpful. However, I understand that until I have fully tackled the issue of why I overeat, this is merely a bandaid.  I think I need to stop reading this book, and go straight to Geneen’s book first.










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