I will not lie to you. The thought of never, ever having a drink again sometimes overwhelms me with sadness and feelings of loss.
Not every minute of the day — sometimes a few days pass. But it pops up a lot.
Why do I feel this?
Maybe my life will not be fun. What, never lifting and clinking glasses again?!?!? Never sinking into my sofa with a glass of wine and turning on some music – or perhaps just ruminating? A romantic evening without wine? Having an evening out without a glass (or bottle) of wine again? Gasp! I feel deprived.
Which looks ridiculous when I write it down here. Deprived just because I can’t have a glass of wine?!?! Silly, weak me!
I have the EasyQuit drink app installed on my phone; sometimes the number of days I am wine-free crawls forward; other times I’ll be surprised to days tick over so quickly.
This morning it was a surprise – I look and it says 72 days and 3 hours. 72! I made it without drink. And that’s after a fairly challenging visit back home.
I am closing in on three months. Which apparently in the world of sobriety is a significant number. I’ll celebrate in a separate post on Day 90.
I am concentrating these days on getting through cravings.
It’s the small things that make me miss a drink – and crave one. A short list includes;
- Listening to music
- Having dinner in a restaurant
- Sitting at the airport or in a plane
- A long day at work
- A bad day at work
- A superb day at work
- The need to stuff down feelings
- Not happy
- Very happy
- Sitting around with friends
- Sitting around with family
- Sitting out on the patio at sunset
How to get past this craving part?
Everything I’ve read confirms there is a 20-minute window to get past a craving. If you can distract yourself past that magic 20-minute window of doom – you are flying. You are past craving, and into the safe zone of enjoying the moment as a sober person.
Also, think in increments of hours and days – not forever.
The best advice I’ve read is to stop thinking NEVER AGAIN. Instead, think right now – right this minute, I am not going to have a drink.