Life hasn’t turned out like I planned

Day 26.

I love inspirational quotes, and have always collected them.

rsz_saying

This one absolutely, positively resonates with me.

“My entire life can be described in one sentence: It didn’t go as planned, and that’s ok”

Not drinking gives me more aware and clear time to reflect – sometimes ruminate (perhaps even too much 🙂 ) – on my life. But as Socrates said, the unexamined life is not worth living.

It didn’t go as planned… 

I’ve chosen many forks in the road over the years that have changed my life dramatically. At times not for the better – or so I thought at the time. Many times over the years I’ve suffered major regrets for choosing the wilder, more impulsive choices. It’s how I ended up living a continent away from where I grew up,  and it’s how I ended up never having children, nor leading a more traditional life as a wife/mother/grandmother.

But as my feelings and consciousness starts brightening up and recovering from my years of dulling it.. as my heart recovers from recent traumas and life changes, I am beginning to appreciate my choices in life were always interesting. They were always carpe diem (seize the day!), and they were always made based in love and hope and adventure – and taking chances based on love.  I’d hold my nose and jump in.

and that’s okay

And I now ask myself. Is that so bad? Is that such a bad way to have lived life (so far)?

I also have to be honest with myself. I didn’t really have a master plan! A big Aha! moment I just had writing this!!!!! I didn’t have a BIG life plan. I had small plans along the way – and sometimes they didn’t turn out as I envisioned.

Here I am now. In the right place at the right time. A mindfulness concept. In the moment.

I’m still standing, I’m still healthy. I’m still hopeful and positive. I still have a lust for life. I’m not out on the streets, homeless or destitute. In fact, in most cases my life turned out just fine – and if not so fine, I made corrections in my course that led to better.

My own personal version of that quote stops at ‘My life hasn’t turned out like planned’. I am striving to add  ‘and that’s ok’ to it. I need to lose the burden of regrets or ‘what could have been if I had done this differently’. My brother always says “It is what it is.” And he’s right.

Stopping drinking is a very positive change, a planned change, and one that will contribute to my good health inside and out as I head into the third age.

 

Photo by Julentto Photography on Unsplash